Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Inspirational Poster Writer. –♪ Mr. Inspirational Poster Writer ♫ –Without you, how would we ever know that today, not tomorrow or last Thursday, is the first day of the rest of our lives? –♪ Starting right now ♫ –You ask us to "take it one day at a time," and remind us "turkeys flock, but eagles soar alone." –♪ Soarin' high ♫ –Only you could turn a picture of a kitten doing chin-ups into something more than cuddly. You make it inspiring. –♪ Believe in yourself ♫ –So this Bud's for you, O Poet Of The Poster. You try very hard to make us try very, very hard. –♪ Thank you, thank you, thank you ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Wrecking Ball Operator. –♪ Mr. Wrecking Ball Operator ♫ –You do what lesser men can only dream about: you smash great big things into little-bitty pieces. –♪ Totally awesome ♫ –Forty-two stories of brick, mortar, and iron? No problem; you'll have it down by lunch. –♪ Bring it all down ♫ –Some might say your job is easy, but never to your face. Why? 'Cause you'll come up swinging... a two-thousand-pound ball. –♪ Oh, yeah ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Wrecking Man, because anybody can build a building, but it takes a man, with one giant ball, to bring it down. –♪ Mr. Wrecking Ball Operator ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Experimental Medications Tester. –♪ Mr. Experimental Medications Tester ♫ –While some people donate their body to science, not many are willing to do so while they're still in it. –♪ Take me I'm yours ♫ –Using your skills of twitching and profuse sweating, you taught us "That new acne cream might need a little more research." –♪ Feelin' dizzy ♫ –At the end of the day, you feel pride in a job well done. You also feel a slight burning sensation. –♪ Burning sensation ♫ –More evidence of a job well done. –♪ Yeah! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Prince Of The Placebo. Not even that nasty rash can keep us from shaking your hand. –♪ Mr. Experimental Medications Tester ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Professional Movie Extra Guy. –♪ Mr. Professional Movie Extra Guy ♫ –Never in the history of cinema have so many done so little for so many. –♪ You're a star! ♫ –Anybody can pay eight bucks to see a movie, but only a true artist can be paid eight bucks to be in a movie. –♪ Shiny, shiny star ♫ –Snotty lead actors need lines, direction, motivation. Not you. You sit on your butt perfectly in scene after scene. –♪ That's Hollywood! ♫ –A true pro, you're always focused even if you're seldom in focus. –♪ Oh! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Nobody, because you're not just anybody, you're a paid anybody. –♪ I don't recognize you ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Company Computer Guy. –♪ Mr. Company Computer Guy ♫ –Though we worker bees scarcely know our modems from our scrotums, you are there to guide us. –♪ Modems and scrotums ♫ –When we screw-up the boot-up you are there. Without you, computers would mega-bite. –♪ Mega-bite ♫ –The countless hours we spend surfing the internet and accidentally stumbling upon porn sites would instead be spent working. –♪ Working for the man ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Company Computer Guy, for it's you who keeps our logons logging and our hard drives hard. –♪ You gotta see this porn site! ♫
You know, Mary, I haven't had Christmas off in seven years. –Oh, that's terrible. –Well, it's not too bad. You get used to it. Christmas is just like any other day when you work in a newsroom. You know what I mean? –Uh, no. –Oh. You gotta work on Christmas. –I've got to work on Christmas? –Well, that's another way of putting it.