Oh, no, sir! No, it wasn't quite like this. No, no. No, sir, it wasn't quite so handsome. And as for rules? We didn't carry military manuals around with us. We were out on the veldt fighting the Boer the way he fought us! I'll tell you what rule we applied, sir! We applied Rule 3-0-3. We caught them, and we shot them under Rule 3-0-3!
All right, listen up. Before we go any further I'm going to lay down a few rules, all right? Commandment number one: shut the hell up. Commandment number two: there's nothing I can do about the sun. Commandment number three: there are no more Jolly Ranchers. They're all gone. Commandment number four: when we pass a billboard, please don't read it out loud all right? Now come on, let's get going!