Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer. –♪ Mr. Renaissance Fair Performer ♫ –You've taken the barbaric warfare of the 12th century and made it a great outing for the entire family. –♪ Quality time, yeah ♫ –Every night you stand in green tights and pointy shoes and proudly display your manhood. –♪ Standin' tall! ♫ –Armed with swords, battleaxes, and big hammers, you knock each other senseless while we devour giant turkey legs and five-gallon sodas. –♪ Simply delicious ♫ –Sure, we know it's fake, but don't tell us getting clobbered in the face with a spiked ball doesn't hurt a little. –♪ Oh! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Renaissance Guy, because you'll always be our knight in shining armor. –♪ Someone get a stretcher ♫
Now take the hit off of him, Carmine. –Vivian! –Take it off. –No! –If you don't take it off, I'm going to tell Frankie DeLuca about you muscling in on the bingo concession at the Feast of St. Anthony's, and he is gonna put a hit out on you. And you're going to be wearing cement shoes at the bottom of the East River, and then there's gonna be more grief and less peace in our fucking family than there already is.
We need pie. –What? –My granddaddy always said 'If you got a problem that you can't solve, it helps to get out of your head, pie, it's good.' –Pie. –Yeah. –Your granddaddy, heavy-set man? –A little bit. –Yeah. You know what? We've been doing smart stuff. We've been following clues, doing real police work, it might be time we do something stupid. Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing. You know what? Now I want some pie, K. I want some pie. Let's go get some dumb-ass pie.