Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker. –♪ Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker ♫ –Your amazing skills of deception can trick a deer into thinking we're just a tree out for a walk, or a shrub having a cup of coffee. –♪ Shrub havin' coffee ♫ –Tirelessly you perfect your artistry: the squiggly black line, the blob, the slightly-larger blob, all in spectacular shades of green. –♪ Green, green, and green! ♫ –Thanks to you, we look fabulous in, or out, of the forest with a suit that can be easily accessorized with face paint and a few twigs. –♪ Dressed to kill ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker, because when it comes to blending in you really stand out. –♪ Mr. Camouflage Suit Maker ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer. –♪ Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer ♫ –While lesser designers would shy away from putting 300-pound men in spandex, you embrace it. –♪ Yes, you do ♫ –Pushing fashion to its limits, literally, you paired tights with a cape, a leotard with a mask, leather boots with a thong. –♪ Oh, lookin' good! ♫ –All understated ways of saying "I'm going to rip your head off and look fabulous doing it." –♪ Ripping off heads ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Guy, because with out you a man crushing another man's head in his arms would just look silly. –♪ Mr. Pro Wrestling Wardrobe Designer ♫
Budweiser presents: Real American Heroes. –♪ Real American Heroes ♫ –Today we salute you, Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer. –♪ Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer ♫ –Perhaps fashion's greatest mystery: what makes a big, strong man say "I think I need a new fur coat?" –♪ I don't know ♫ –The very height of political incorrectness. Nothing says "I could give a rat's rear end" like a man in a floor-length chinchilla. –♪ Takin' no prisoners ♫ –A look that's half street pimp, half Aunt Esther, and full-on fur-tastic. Sure it's gauche, but you don't spend more on your coat than your car not to be noticed. –♪ Look at me! ♫ –So this Bud's for you, Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer, because it takes a real man to wear a lady's coat. –♪ Mr. Male Fur Coat Wearer ♫
The Running Man has been brought to you by: Breakaway Paramilitary Uniforms, Orthopure Procreation Pill, and Cadre Cola; it hits the spot! Promotional considerations paid for by: Kelton Flame Throwers, Wainwright Electrical Launchers, and Hammond & Gage Chainsaws. Damon Killian's wardrobe by Chez Antoinne: 19th-Century craftsmanship for the 21st-Century man. Cadre Trooper and studio-guard side arms provided by Colchester: the pistol of patriots. Remember: Tickets for the ICS studio tour are always available for Class-A citizens in good standing. If you'd like to be a contestant on The Running Man, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: ICS Talent Hunt, care of your local affiliate, and then go out and do something really despicable! I'm Phil Hilton! Good night and take care!