I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. No. Wait. What I meant to say is... I know you're all just trying to be helpful in your own irritating fashion. –Ay carumba. –Uh, some people can't help being annoying.
You just kicked everybody out on Christmas. –Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos. –Look. I--I know it didn't go like you wanted. –What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. –That was our family. –You call that a family?! That was a natural disaster! –On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. Yes, it got a little out of hand. –Fiona, they lit me on fire!
Oh, man, it's finally here! Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! You got everything ready? –No. –You mean you haven't trimmed your stockings or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? –No! –Or figgified your pudding? –Donkey! Will you get it through your thick head: no one here gives a hoot about Christmas!
Yeah? Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas. And if you think I am going to give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken. –You want to give me a present? Then go away! That's all I wanted! –Fine! I'm going! –Good! Then go! –You go and have yourself a Merry Christmas! Ebeneezer Shrek! –And a Bah Humbug to you, too!
Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day finishing up on my Christmas display. Now missing all this would be nothing but tragic. So just follow me and I'll show you the magic. Now out in the yard in a glorious clutter is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter. With 20-foot cheese balls and a big egg nog fountain and yodelling elves on an ambrosia mountain. A stage where acrobats jump, leap, and prance and honor the day through interpretive dance.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws. And he stood there heroic, a real Santa… Claws. Red are his boots and so is his cape. His sword is a thing that tastes like crabcake. He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat and there is a cute, fuzzy thing which hangs down from his... hat. (purring and tapping on bell)