The Running Man has been brought to you by: Breakaway Paramilitary Uniforms, Orthopure Procreation Pill, and Cadre Cola; it hits the spot! Promotional considerations paid for by: Kelton Flame Throwers, Wainwright Electrical Launchers, and Hammond & Gage Chainsaws. Damon Killian's wardrobe by Chez Antoinne: 19th-Century craftsmanship for the 21st-Century man. Cadre Trooper and studio-guard side arms provided by Colchester: the pistol of patriots. Remember: Tickets for the ICS studio tour are always available for Class-A citizens in good standing. If you'd like to be a contestant on The Running Man, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: ICS Talent Hunt, care of your local affiliate, and then go out and do something really despicable! I'm Phil Hilton! Good night and take care!
Do you have this week's ratings, or do I have to guess?
This is television, that's all it is. It's nothing to do with people, it's to do with the ratings. For 50 years we've told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear. For Christ's sake, Ben, don't you understand? Americans love television! They wean their kids on it! Listen, they love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give 'em what they want! We're number one, Ben, that's all that counts.
I want a kiss, now, a big kiss, but remember: no tongues.