| 2010-07-18
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"Hank, stop calling me 'Pop!' If these kids find out that their hero has had sex, their heads will explode. –But I want to show my new friend-- –This isn't all about you, Hank. These kids want to see Rusty Venture. Maybe when there's a cartoon called The Venture Brothers, it'll be different." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
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(background)
"Why is it so dirty? –My father died before he taught me to care." [uncredited | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2010-03-12
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"What are you doing in here? –Checking my electronic mailbox. I'd do it on my computer, but the Commodore 64 gets kind of buggy with the cradle-modem that, uh, yo-you-- well, it's all very technical." [Christopher McCulloch (Sgt. Hatred) | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2010-01-27
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"I mean, think about it. He's a lawyer and a super-villain. That's like a shark with a grenade launcher his head." [Doc Hammer (Dr. Mrs. The Monarch)] |
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(background)
"'Chose', my keister. My dad dumped this life on my lap like a cup of scalding hot responsibility." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2010-01-11
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"Intruder at the front gate. The Sphinx has spoken." [uncredited (The Sphinx)] |
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(background)
"Gentlemen, veil yourselves. This is Guild business." [Christopher McCulloch (Monstroso)] |
| 2009-12-16
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"This is like Christmas, a first BMX bike, and meeting the cast of Firefly all in one." [Doc Hammer (Henchman 21)] |
| 2009-03-29
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"Look, no offense, but I'm in no mood to play babysitter to the Ritalin Twins tonight, OK? My life sucks quite enough already, thank you. I'm having big boy problems. –Girls? –I wish! –Hemorrhoids?" [Doc Hammer (Henchman 21) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
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(background)
"Yeah, I'll be sure to put that on my 'To Don't' list." [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2009-03-28
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"You've gone soft on me Henry Allen So-Called-Venture! You used to be all 'Go Team Venture!', but now? Now you're all 'Go... Team... B-Boobies!' Gosh!" [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
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(background)
"This isn't how it looks! –Yeah, it is." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
| 2008-11-14
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"Magic beacon shed your light, through fog of time and darkest night, though scorpions sting and spiders bite, that we may wage our Triune fight! –He wrote a little poem... to his dollies." [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
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(background)
"Whatever. Nobody works as hard as Rusty Venture!" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2008-10-28
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"Ecch, internet. It's only good for finding out that your boyfriend is sleeping around. Fricking MySpace. What? I'm not supposed to look at his friend's comments? They're right on the first page!" [Dana Snyder (The Alchemist)] |
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(background)
"Let's go to karaoke bar! I so want to sing Humpty Dance! –Uhh... –Yes, yes. We go later." [Christopher McCulloch (Kano) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2008-10-27
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(background)
"Hey, Pop! Can I show my new friend my bedroom? I've never had a friend in there." [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
| 2008-09-26
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"All right, let's start again. Get me a dictionary. –We have the internet. –I don't want to play World Of Warcraft! Get me a regular dictionary." [Dana Snyder (The Alchemist) | Christopher McCulloch (Pete White)] |
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(background)
"Ugh. Congratulations, you've discovered pornography." [Christopher McCulloch (Pete White)] |
| 2008-09-10
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"Man, the poor chump who came up with this riddle didn't bank on us having the Internet, huh?" [Christopher McCulloch (Pete White)] |
|
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(background)
"You have Lollygagger's Syndrome, that's what you have." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2008-08-25
|
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"The final clue. I can decode this! Get me a roll of toilet paper!" [Doc Hammer (Master Billy Quizboy)] |
|
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(background)
"Billy, all you've proved is that you're way too into cartoons!" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2008-08-21
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"Rusty Venture! Brought to you by Smoking!" [Christopher McCulloch (announcer)] |
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(background)
"Hurry up! My ice is melting!" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2008-08-18
|
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"Do you watch Top Chef? –Uh, yeah, but I didn't like Top Design." [Christopher McCulloch (Kano) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
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(background)
"Wake up, fat boy." [Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2008-08-05
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"M.U.T.H.E.R. is now online." [M.U.T.H.E.R. (Herself)] |
|
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(background)
"Hey, man, I gotta go where the blaxion is." [Charles Parnell (Jefferson Twilight)] |
| 2008-07-28
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"Make yourselves comfortable, sons of Venture, while I assemble the Order of the Triad!" [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
|
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(background)
"Hmm. A most compelling mystery indeed." [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
| 2008-07-16
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"Yeaaah. You guys are, uh… you're kinda creepy. I think this may be a stupid idea." [Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
|
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(background)
"How do you do a screen capture? It's like shift-option-- Aah! Oh, crap. I made an umlaut." [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2008-07-09
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"Yeah, is this gonna suck the whole time or is this, like, the only part that sucks? I just wanna gauge how much suck I have to friggin' sit through." [Doc Hammer (Dermott Fictel)] |
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(background)
"What are you guys doing? You're on Monarch time!" [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2008-06-12
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"Oh, man, if that shows up on YouTube… I--I'm serious! What kind of torture is this? Couldn't you just drill my teeth or shove bamboo under my nails or something?" [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
|
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(background)
"Team B! Take this list to Home Depot! You ask for Carl." [Doc Hammer (Kevin Moppet)] |
| 2008-02-01
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"Dean, stop riding The Perfect Man! Brock has to kill him now. –Aw, can't we keep him? –Yeah, Dad, can't we? We'll feed The Perfect Man and clean up after him and everything. Super swear! Please? –No. He's an abomination." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"You're not in the Marines anymore! This is Intelligence, start using it! –'K, C-Colonel… –Call me Hunter."
[Christopher McCulloch (Hunter Gathers) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2007-07-11
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 |
"What's with the poetry, Wordsworth? Just say it. Say, 'I am a virgin.' –I knew it! –Billy, that makes you the best candidate to take a ray blast! You have nothing to lose, you've never done anything. The way I look at it, it's not even murder. It's a very late abortion." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Pete White)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Listen, we kind of got off on the wrong foot, you and I. And I-I don't mean the one you just kicked my teeth in with." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2007-03-21
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 |
(background)
"I'm going to change into my Quizboy costume." [Doc Hammer (Master Billy Quizboy)] |
| 2007-02-28
|
 |
"My Administration's up to its ass in scandal. Hell, my VP's under indictment." [Dana Snyder (President Breyer)] |
|
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(background)
"Everything you touch turns to suck. It's official." [Brendon Small (Agent Hauser)] |
| 2006-10-06
|
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"You're just being superstitious. –I am not! Just extra-stitious." [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
|
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(background)
"Brock, you speak Crazy; do something about him." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2006-09-21
|
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"Mother! You can't talk to the President like that! –Well, I didn't vote for him!" [Terrence Fleming (Col. Bud Manstrong) | Joanna Adler (Mrs. Manstrong)] |
|
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(background)
"Say, Bud… or is it 'Budley?' 'Budward?' What's 'Bud' short for?" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2006-08-31
|
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"You've gotta try this! It feels too good. It feels like somebody with a fever is yelling at my pants!" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
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(background)
"Fawn over me! Treat me as if I am candy!" [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2006-08-23
|
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"Hank, we've got big troubles! The Apaches are back! –What? –Look! Tipi in your trunks!" [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
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(background)
"My pants are haunted! My pants are haunted!" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
| 2006-07-27
|
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"(sigh) If you want a job done right, I have to do it." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
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(background)
"This is getting stupid!" [Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2006-07-19
|
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"What happened? –Yeah, Clarissa, explain it all!" [Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
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(background)
"Great! Way to be useless, Dean." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2006-07-18
|
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"Great. My closet is the door to Hell. –The Necropolis. A portal to the Necropolis. It had to be on the south side of the apartment." [Lisa Hammer (Triana Orpheus) | Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
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 |
(background)
"No use crying over spilt magick." [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
| 2006-06-30
|
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"Look. If you have a clumsy child, you make him wear a helmet. If you have death-prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Oh, and here's a tip. A beard is not a substitute for a jawline no matter how you trim it." [Doc Hammer (Henchman 24)] |
| 2006-06-29
|
 |
"Crap, who am I kidding? My looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Where did you guys go, super-crazy-no-way school?" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
| 2006-06-28
|
 |
"Halt! This area is restricted on the authority of the United States Government! –I work for the government. –Uh… still, you're not coming in here." [Stephen Colbert (Mr. Impossible) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Whoopty-freaking-do." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2006-06-13
|
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"Ugh. We never should've stopped. Why is it every time I need to get somewhere we get waylaid by jackassery?" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Damn it, we're late already. Is my tie on straight? –Yeah. You can't really miss with a clip-on." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2006-03-10
|
 |
"I dare you to make less sense." [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"(ring) Lair of the Phantom, this is Queen Aetheria." [Doc Hammer (Dr. Girlfriend)] |
| 2006-02-07
|
 |
"In 1969, the Guild of Calamitous Intent enacted an addendum to Article 47 of the Unusual Torture Act. So let's cut the monkey business. –Go, Dad! –Yes, 'Go, Dad.' And what's more, you arrogant little troublemaker, you have to let us all go. –How the hell do you know that? –Heh. Check it out for yourself. –Maybe I will. –Oh, you don't know when to stop with all this, do you? You just keep pushing my buttons. –You're my Arch Enemy! That's what I do. That's my thing. –Aah! –All right. Fine. I have a Guild of Calamitous Intent handbook in my glove compartment. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Oh, this is just gay." [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2005-08-17
|
 |
"What, am I hearing things? Am I all alone out here? Didn't you just feel the wind of freedom ripping through your sweater vest? Can't you hear the wind calling, 'Little Miss, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong?' We're free. We are the future!" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"What would I do without you, Brock? –You would've died." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2005-07-14
|
 |
"Don't you have nothing else to do but harp on Dr. Venture? Why haven't you tried the World Domination thing, you afraid of the big leagues? –Please. How stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts or the Republicans, thank you." [Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson) | Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Go Team Venture! –I don't know, they just do that." [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
| 2005-07-06
|
 |
"Testicular torsion isn't just something on TV. It's a real problem. –Testicular torsion occurs only in males, usually under 25-years-of-age. –If you're experiencing sharp pains in the scrotum, swelling in one or both testes, or even blood in your semen, your genitals are most likely dying. –That's right, Doc! So if you want to keep them, you need to seek medical attention as soon as you experience pain like Hank and Dean here did. –So don't be a jack-ass, go see a doctor. –If you want to keep your testicles healthy, remember these three words: Stop, Touch, and Tell. –To find out more about Testicular Torsion, you can look in special medical books. –Or on the InterWeb!" [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Patrick Warburton (Brock Sampson)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Pumpkin, you're up early, and you've changed out of your jam-jams into… the clothes you wore last night. How frugal of you." [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
| 2005-06-21
|
 |
"I'm feeling very still and I think my spaceship knows which way to go. Tell my wife I love her very much. –She knows! Ground Control to Major Tom! Your circuit's dead! There's something wrong! Can you hear me, Major Tom? Can you hear me?! Major Tom! (crashing) –Ashes to ashes. [James Urbaniak (Major Tom) | Paul Boocock (Dr. Jonas Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (The Action Man)] |
|
 |
(background)
"That's good soup!" (for Noodle Soup Productions, Inc.) [Audio Logo] |
| 2005-05-13
|
 |
(background)
"Who wants Pizza Rolls?" [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus)] |
| 2005-04-11
|
 |
"But, Pop! –What, are you on the rag? –(sigh) It's impossible for me to be on the rag. I'm--I can't believe I'm even arguing about this with you! What Men's Room did you pick up that kind of trash talk in?" [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture) | Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Proceed with Phase Two, Dr. Girlfriend: ensnarement." [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2005-03-29
|
 |
"Sweetie, isn't that the guy from Depeche Mode? –Oh, no way. Where? Holy crap, he's with a girl. –Oh, yeah, that guy is totally straight. I saw a whole thing about him on the VH1. –But he's the guy from Depeche Mode. It's impossible. –Straight. –Come on. He's in Depeche Mode!" [Doc Hammer (The Monarch) | Christopher McCulloch (Dr. Girlfriend)] |
| 2005-03-23
|
 |
(background)
"You are such a massive wuss!" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture)] |
|
 |
"Apparently, this is the reward I get for years of screwing with super science. In short, I pissed in God's eye and he blinked." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2005-03-11
|
 |
(background)
"Go Team Venture!" [Christopher McCulloch (Hank Venture) | Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |
|
 |
"I am known to men as Dr. Orpheus. And mine is to perceive and control the delicate arrangement of the cosmos. –They give out PhDs for that? –Junior college upstate; Communications Major, Minor in Women's Studies. But I assure you, sir, the 'doctor' title was bestowed on me by a higher power than a mere college professor." [Steven Rattazzi (Dr. Byron Orpheus) | James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2005-03-04
|
 |
(background)
"When Marrakech is overrun by mutant lizard-people, don't come crying to me." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
| 2005-03-03
|
 |
"Uhhhh, how about I give you my number to my private two-way wrist communicator watch?" [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture)] |
|
 |
(background)
"Oh, crap! We never planned for this contingency. Quick, make something up!" [Christopher McCulloch (The Monarch)] |
| 2005-03-02
|
 |
"No! No, no, no! Bad robot! Bad H.E.L.P.eR.! We don't do that! We do not eat test tubes! Come here! –(beeping and crunching) –I'm not playing games here. What, you don't feel well now? Well, what did you expect? You're mixing acids and bases there." [James Urbaniak (Dr. Rusty Venture) | Soul-Bot (H.E.L.P.eR.)] |
|
 |
"Dude, I spit in that." [Michael Sinterniklaas (Dean Venture)] |