| 2009-10-03
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"Yabba-dabba-hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe." [Seth MacFarlane (Rock Peter)] |
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(background)
"And now, here's something we hope you'll really like." [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2009-08-28
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"Well, if there's anyone I can trust it's a stranger at the gym holding a dirty needle." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"What are you looking at? It's a cartoon!" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2009-07-09
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"(sigh) OK, look, Meg. I've been at this for 45 minutes. I don't know what else I can say. Here's a Sylvia Plath book and a bottle of Ambien. I'm gonna look the other way, and whatever happens happens." [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin)] |
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(background)
"All right, fat man, let's do this!" [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2009-06-14
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"Look, Lois, ever since marijuana was legalized crime has gone down, productivity is up, and ratings for Doctor Who are through the roof." [Seth MacFarlane (Brian Griffin)] |
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(background)
"My house is made of mediocrity!" [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2009-05-18
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"Stewie, I need your urine! –(gasp) Really?!" [Seth MacFarlane (Brian Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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(background)
"You're asking for a spanking, young lady!" [Seth MacFarlane (Carter Pewterschmidt)] |
| 2009-05-03
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"You know, you're going about this all wrong, Brian. If you want to win people over, you can't just drone on like Ben Stein. You've got to have a little more showmanship." [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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(background)
"Let's shave the cat!" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2009-04-26
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"Uh... You don't have to be naked for this. –But I don't have to not be naked for it, either. Ahaaa." [Seth MacFarlane (Brian Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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(background)
"What the hell we doin'?!" [Mike Henry (Cleveland Brown)] |
| 2008-03-18
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"Well, I guess I'll go bullseye some womprats in my T-16. –My god, you shoot small animals for fun? That's the first indicator of a serial killer, you freak! –There's two suns and no women! What the hell am I supposed to do?!" [Seth Green (Luke Skywalker) | Seth MacFarlane (C-3PO)] |
| 2008-03-13
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"The Death Star is getting closer. –And Leia's getting larger!" [Seth MacFarlane (announcer) | Seth MacFarlane (C-3PO)] |
| 2008-02-27
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"This is what it feels like to be a bear. You remember what I used to say, Lois, when we first got married? You remember? I used to say, 'What would it feel like to be a bear?' Well, this is it. This is it! I'm living it, baby." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"Oh no she didn't!" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2008-01-02
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"All right, listen up. Before we go any further I'm going to lay down a few rules, all right? Commandment number one: shut the hell up. Commandment number two: there's nothing I can do about the sun. Commandment number three: there are no more Jolly Ranchers. They're all gone. Commandment number four: when we pass a billboard, please don't read it out loud all right? Now come on, let's get going!" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"What the deuce is all the commotion?" [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2007-11-29
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"(sigh) Fine… screw up all my fuzziness." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"You know, Dad, you're a real jerk!" [Seth Green (Chris Griffin)] |
| 2007-11-15
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(background)
"God, you're more worthless than Colin Farrell." [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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"Oh, that's just great, Lois. Thanks to you, I missed a moment of television history! –Well, now you know how George W. Bush felt when he showed up in Vietnam." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2007-10-24
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"I don't like change!" [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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(background)
"Intergalactic proton-powered electrical-tentacled advertising droids!" [uncredited (Darth Harrington)] |
| 2007-10-15
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"I got him! I got him! –Great, kid. Don't get penisy." [Seth Green (Luke Skywalker) | Seth MacFarlane (Han Solo)] |
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"She said Obi-wan Kenobi. I wonder If she means old Obi-wan Kenobi?" [Seth Green (Luke Skywalker)] |
| 2007-10-09
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"Is it a fast ship? –Are you kidding? It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. –Um, isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time?" [Seth Green (Luke Skywalker) | Seth MacFarlane (Han Solo)] |
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(background)
"Get your fat space-ass back here." [Seth MacFarlane (Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi)] |
| 2007-10-08
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"Aren't you a little fat to be a Stormtrooper? –Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch." [Alex Borstein (Princess Leia) | Seth Green (Luke Skywalker)] |
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(background)
"Oh, what the Phantom Menace is that guy's problem?" [Seth Green (Luke Skywalker)] |
| 2007-09-19
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"Eww! Dad, we don't want to sit here and look at your ass!" [Mila Kunis (Meg Griffin)] |
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(background)
"What the Hell was that?" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2007-09-17
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"Boy, this sounds like more trouble than a moose on the interstate." [Patrick Warburton (Joe Swanson)] |
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(background)
"Bon apetit, douche bag." [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2006-12-20
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"Peter, tomorrow's Christmas Eve and you still haven't gotten us a tree. –Lois, I told you, I'm on dipsilucious vacation. What part of that don't you understand?" [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2006-12-14
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"Yeah, Peter, one of us has to be the Designated Driver, and I've already had four egg nogs, so I guess you're it. –Hah. That's a good one, Joe. Heh. Way to get into the spirit. Heh heh. –(konk) I'm a cop first and a buddy second, so don't think I wouldn't throw your drunk-driving ass in the slammer! (glug glug glug) All right! Let's a-wassail!" [Patrick Warburton (Joe Swanson) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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"Aah! Oh, it was just a dream. I needn't fear this 'Santa.' If he were truly omnipotent, he'd have the testicular fortitude to show himself! See? I'm just barking in the dark. No one here but me. La-te-da-te… All right! Where is it?! Where's the wire?! Show yourself, Claus!" [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2006-12-11
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"Ooh, someone's being naughty, not nice. You know Santa's watching you. –What the devil do you mean, watching? –Well, honey, Santa's making a list and checking it twice. –He sees you when you're sleeping. –And he knows when you're awake. I almost caught him last year, but he's magic! –Constant surveillance of every child on earth. Impossible! Unless... hidden cameras!" [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin) | Mila Kunis (Meg Griffin) | Seth Green (Chris Griffin)] |
| 2006-12-05
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"Well, you owe me. Later, under the misteltoe, open-mouth, no matter how drunk I am." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2006-12-01
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(background)
"Sounds like somebody's got a humbug up his butt." [Mike Henry (Cleveland Brown)] |
| 2005-12-23
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"Brian, you're not wearing the sweater I made you. –Uh, we-well, it's a little warm in here, you know? –'Don we now our gay apparel.' –Doesn't get much gayer than this." [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Brian Griffin)] |
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"Ho ho ho! And what can I bring you? –Oh, a peace offering, is it? Very well… What say you trim those gin-soaked whiskers and bring me some plutonium?! –Well, can you be a good boy? –Hmm. Your inquiry intrigues me. Can any of us be a 'good boy?' Are our primal urges innate or the result of the choices we make? –OK, wrap it up, kid. –All right, Kringle, if the reward is plutonium, then your wager is accepted. I will be... 'nice.'" [Gary Hoffman (Mall Santa) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
| 2005-12-19
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"I just want Peace On Earth. That's better than being selfish like Meg, right? So I should get more than her." [Seth Green (Chris Griffin)] |
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"Uh, uh, uh, before you sit down, we're due at Joe and Bonnie's for egg nog. –Lois, can't we tell them that your mother died? –Peter, I'm not going to lie about something like that. –All right, all right, I'll kill your mother. God, when did Christmas become so complicated?" [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
| 2005-11-25
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"Do you know what I've discovered about myself since I've been in college? I am so all about Ultimate Frisbee™." [Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin)] |
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(background)
"Why thank you, Tinkle Fairy." [Adam West (Mayor Adam West)] |
| 2005-11-22
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"Oh, Lois, you are so full of (bleep)! What?! Now I can't say (bleep) in my own (bleep) house? (bleep) great, Lois, just (bleep) great. You know you're lucky you're good at (bleep) my (bleep) or I'd never put up with you. You know what I'm talking about. When you (bleep) lubed-up (bleep) toothpaste in my (bleep) while you (bleep) on a cherry (bleep) Episcopalian (bleep) extention cord (bleep) wetness (bleep) with a parking ticket. That is the best!" [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
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(background)
"It's the (bleep) Van (bleep) Show! Starring (bleep) Van (bleep)! –They're messing with my shows!" [Fred Tatasciore (TV Announcer) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin)] |
