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December 31 - "What an honor it is to have you in our little home. Though I wonder if it does make the best first impression on a sensitive young mind to see you drinking during business hours." - [Rosalind Russell from Auntie Mame] |
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December 28 - "Fuck being a hero. You know what you get for being a hero? Nothing. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, atta boy. You get divorced. Your wife can't remember your last name. Your kids don't want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid. Nobody wants to be that guy." - [Bruce Willis from Live Free Or Die Hard] |
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December 27 - "Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler." - [William Frawley from I Love lucy] |
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December 26 - "You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of." - [Timothy Olyphant from Live Free Or Die Hard] |
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December 25 – "There's got to be a logical way to explain this Christmas thing." – [Jack Skellington (Chris Sarandon) from The Nightmare Before Christmas]
and "(phone rings) Hello, Police. Attacked by Christmas toys? That's strange. That's the second the second toy complaint we've had." – [Policeman (uncredited) from The Nightmare Before Christmas] |
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December 24 – "Happy Christmas, Filburt. –Christmas?! Oh, my gosh!" – [Rocko and Filburt Shellbache (Carlos Alazraqui and Mr. Lawrence) from Rocko's Modern Life]
and "(gasp) Oh, my gosh. It's-it's-it's elves! There's elves living in the neighborhood! I had my suspicions. If there's anything I hate more than Christmas, it's elves!" – [Ed Bighead (Charles Adler) from Rocko's Modern Life] |
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December 21 – "Oh, man, it's finally here! Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! You got everything ready? –No. –You mean you haven't trimmed your stockings or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? –No! –Or figgified your pudding? –Donkey! Will you get it through your thick head: no one here gives a hoot about Christmas!" – [Donkey and Shrek (Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers) from Shrek The Halls]
and "Yeah? Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas. And if you think I am going to give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken. –You want to give me a present? Then go away! That's all I wanted! –Fine! I'm going! –Good! Then go! –You go and have yourself a merry Christmas! Ebeneezer Shrek! –And a Bah Humbug to you, too!" – [Donkey and Shrek (Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers) from Shrek The Halls] |
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December 20 – "There's only one thing left to do. It's time to see Santa Claus." – [Rerun Van Pelt (Jimmy Bennett) from I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown]
and "Listen to me. Mom doesn't want you to have a dog, does she? –No. –Do you really think Santa Claus is going to bring you something Mom doesn't want you to have? –Ooh. Supreme Court stuff." – [Lucy and Rerun Van Pelt (Ashley Rose Orr and Jimmy Bennett) from I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown] |
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December 19 – "Daddy! Daddy! –What are you so excited about, sweetie, huh? –Santa's going to give Mommy her voice back for Christmas. –He's what? –He promised Mommy can sing on Christmas morning. –Oh, honey, how could he do that? He's not a doctor. –He's better than a doctor. He's Santa Claus." – [Susan Olsen and Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch]
and "OK, it's unanimous. We'll cancel Christmas… take the tree down, take the presents back to the store… I'll throw the turkey away." – [Ann B. Davis from The Brady Bunch] |
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December 18 – "Thank you, darling. Merry Christmas. Now I must wrap some more Christmas packages!" – [Carolyn Jones from The Addams Family]
and "(gong) You rang? Ho ho ho." – [Ted Cassidy from The Addams Family] |
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December 17 – "'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day finishing up on my Christmas display. Now missing all this would be nothing but tragic. So just follow me and I'll show you the magic. Now out in the yard in a glorious clutter is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter. With 20-foot cheese balls and a big egg nog fountain and yodelling elves on an ambrosia mountain. A stage where acrobats jump, leap, and prance and honor the day through interpretive dance." – [Donkey (Eddie Murphy) from Shrek The Halls]
and "He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws. And he stood there heroic, a real Santa… Claws. Red are his boots and so is his cape. His sword is a thing that tastes like crabcake. He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat and there is a cute, fuzzy thing which hangs down from his... hat. (purring and tapping on bell)" – [Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas) from Shrek The Halls] |
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December 14 – "What's the matter, Arch? You're acting like--You're acting like you've given up on Christmas this year. Well, why are you so down? Where's your Christmas spirit? –What do you mean? Who do you think hung the wreath on the door, huh? One of Santa's gnomes?" – [Rob Reiner and Carroll O'Connor from All In The Family]
and "Ah, I was just going to say that Ma means that we're all kowtowing to Madison Avenue and the Almighty Cash Register. Yeah. She means that Christmas has been exploited by Big Business. It's a victim of Crass Commercialism. –Oh, my. Did I mean all that?" – [Rob Reiner and Jean Stapelton from All In The Family] |
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December 13 – "Nobody cuts down their own Christmas tree anymore. They buy plastic ones. Boy, they're really great. They, uh, spray spruce juice, ooze imitation sap, shed plastic pine needles. Boy, you never saw such an artificial mess." – [Alvy Moore from Green Acres]
and "These trees are a travesty on Christmas. Do you realize that all over the country farmers are going out into their own fields, chopping down their own trees, carrying them back to their own farmhouses, while in the kitchen the wives are baking the fruitcakes, mulling cider, stringing their own popcorn. These people are having a real old-fashioned Christmas. –He's been hitting the egg nog a little early, isn't he?" – [Eddie Albert and Vince Barnett from Green Acres] |
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December 12 – "I know all about Christmas, and I have just the book for you: Christmas For Village Idiots." – [Bookstore Clerk (Marissa Jaret Winokur) from Shrek The Halls]
and "My mama used to always say, 'Christmas ain't Christmas 'till somebody cries!' Usually that someone's me." – [Donkey (Eddie Murphy) from Shrek The Halls] |
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December 11 – "Hooray! It's Yaksmas Eve! The soot is falling and the air is filled with the scent of roasted rubber band vendors. It's my favorite of the year!" – [Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (Billy West) from The Ren & Stimpy Show]
and "May I ask why you're nailing support hose to the wall? –Why, Ren, don't you know? It's Yaksmas Eve, the shabbiest day of the year! And the longjohns are for Stinky Wizzleteats to put sausages in." – [Ren Höek and Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (Billy West and Billy West) from The Ren & Stimpy Show] |
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December 10 – "When a stocking or a dreidel isn't appropriate, give your favorite tyke this hip-hop twist on a holiday classic. –Dr. Seuss meets Dr. Dre in How The Grinch Stole Kwanzaa." – [Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla from The Man Show]
and "And I'm not religious, I don't have any kids, so for me, Christmas is just a big pre-NFL Playoffs buffet." – [Adam Carolla from The Man Show] |
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December 7 – "Mmm. Chrismahanukwanzakahlicious." – [unknown from a Virgin Mobile commercial]
and "It's a Chrismahanukwanzah miracle!" – [unknown from a Virgin Mobile commercial] |
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December 6 – "Come on, Batman, it's Christmas Eve. Let's kick back and get into the spirit." – [Robin (Loren Lester) from Batman: The Animated Series]
and "The Joker's escaped from Arkham Asylum, Robin. –And you really think he's going to make his move on Christmas Eve? Even scum spend the holidays with their families. –He has no family." – [Batman (Kevin Conroy) and Robin (Loren Lester) from Batman: The Animated Series] |
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December 5 – "There's nothing like decorating a tree to get you in that holiday spirit. –Oh, will you knock it off with your spirit, already?" – [Beverly Archer and Vicki Lawrence from Mama's Family]
and "As far as I'm concerned, Christmas is cancelled." – [Vicki Lawrence from Mama's Family] |
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December 4 – "I can wait by myself, Daddy. –Well, I did want to exchange this present. You sure you don't mind waiting alone? –Daddy, I'm 6-years-old." – [Susan Olsen and Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch]
and "And wait'll you see what Santa's bringing you!" – [Susan Olsen from The Brady Bunch] |
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December 3 – "You know there's only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good!" – [Donkey (Eddie Murphy) from Shrek The Halls]
and "There's only 51 days left till Christmas! Now you need to get your big green butt in gear and go get your marshmallows. Because everybody knows without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothing!" – [Donkey (Eddie Murphy) from Shrek The Halls] |
