December 2005 Archives

2005-12-30 Television (background) "I've got my eye on you." [Matt Lucas from Little Britain]
Movie "Well, well, well… Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation." [John Vernon (Dean Vernon Wormer) from Animal House]
2005-12-29 Movie "I can't. I'm not dating right now. –What about tomorrow night, will you be dating then?" [Jena Malone (Mary) | Patrick Fugit (Patrick) from Saved!]
Movie (background) "I know what you're looking at, Mary, and Jesus does, too." [Mandy Moore (Hilary Faye) from Saved!]
2005-12-28 Movie "Look... you can't do things like that!" [Cary Grant (Mortimer Brewster) from Arsenic And Old Lace]
Movie (background) "Young man, let that be a lesson to you." [John Alexander (Theodore Brewster) from Arsenic And Old Lace]
2005-12-27 Movie (background) "Holy sardine!" [Burt Ward (Dick Grayson / Robin) from Batman: The Movie (TOS)]
Movie "Hand me down the shark repellent BatSpray!" [Adam West (Bruce Wayne / Batman) from Batman: The Movie (TOS)]
2005-12-26 Movie "Oh, nice. 16 Candles is on, man. –And the award for the least heterosexual statement ever made in this apartment goes to… Harold Lee! Come on down, man! Take a bow! –Shut up, man. It's a classic." [John Cho (Harold Lee) | Kal Penn (Kumar Patel) from Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle]
Movie (background) "Is everybody gay?!" [Joan Cusack (Emily Montgomery) from In & Out]
2005-12-23 Television "Brian, you're not wearing the sweater I made you. –Uh, we-well, it's a little warm in here, you know? –'Don we now our gay apparel.' –Doesn't get much gayer than this." [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Brian Griffin) from Family Guy]
Television "Ho ho ho! And what can I bring you? –Oh, a peace offering, is it? Very well… What say you trim those gin-soaked whiskers and bring me some plutonium?! –Well, can you be a good boy? –Hmm. Your inquiry intrigues me. Can any of us be a 'good boy?' Are our primal urges innate or the result of the choices we make? –OK, wrap it up, kid. –All right, Kringle, if the reward is plutonium, then your wager is accepted. I will be... 'nice.'" [Gary Hoffman (Mall Santa) | Seth MacFarlane (Stewie Griffin) from Family Guy]
Television (background) "Santa, if it isn't too much trouble, could you just give both those gifts to my mama?" [Jeff Bennett (Johnny Bravo) from Johnny Bravo]
2005-12-22 Television "Where's your allspice? –All what? –It's like trying to cook with one hand tied behind your back. Dinner's going to be delayed. –How delayed? –I'll get back to you." [John L. Adams (Bruce Lewis) | Anthony Michael Hall (Johnny Smith) from Dead Zone, The]
Television "Oh, the next thing you'll be telling me there's no such thing as Santa Claus. –You mean the fictional character created by New York City merchants at the turn of the century to encourage people to buy material goods? –I can't handle this." [John L. Adams (Bruce Lewis) | Jennifer Finnigan (Alex Sinclair) from Dead Zone, The]
Television (background) "I think he's cute. –Me, too. –You guys have had far too much eggnog." [Nicole de Boer (Sarah Bracknell Bannerman) | Jennifer Finnigan (Alex Sinclair) | Anthony Michael Hall (Johnny Smith) from Dead Zone, The]
2005-12-21 Television (background) "And why is it that on Charlie Brown cartoons everyone talks like this?" [Trey Parker (Stan Marsh) from South Park]
Television "It's too early. I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait until January. –They sure look ripe to me." [Tracy Stratford (Lucy Van Pelt) | Christopher Shea (Linus Van Pelt) from Charlie Brown Christmas, A]
Television "I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel." [Peter Robbins (Charlie Brown) from Charlie Brown Christmas, A]
2005-12-20 Television "Grim, everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public. –The whole 'childhood wonder' stage just blew right past you, didn't it?" [Grey Delisle (Mandy) | Greg Eagles (Grim) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television "Just remember, Cassie, disappointment is a present, too!" [Armin Shimerman (Santa Skarr) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television (background) "I only like elves when they're making cookies." [Grey Delisle (Mandy) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
2005-12-19 Television "I just want Peace On Earth. That's better than being selfish like Meg, right? So I should get more than her." [Seth Green (Chris Griffin) from Family Guy]
Television "Uh, uh, uh, before you sit down, we're due at Joe and Bonnie's for egg nog. –Lois, can't we tell them that your mother died? –Peter, I'm not going to lie about something like that. –All right, all right, I'll kill your mother. God, when did Christmas become so complicated?" [Alex Borstein (Lois Griffin) | Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin) from Family Guy]
Television (background) "Merry Christmas to all, and to all shut the hell up." [Seth MacFarlane (Peter Griffin) from Family Guy]
2005-12-16 Television "Well, I guess mommy'll just have to hide your presents someplace else. Just looks like I can't trust you, Ralph." [Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden) from The Honeymooners]
Television "Well, let's face it, Ralph. You're not the easiest guy in the world to shop for, you know? It's pretty tough to get a guy something that, well, a guy that's got everything." [Art Carney (Ed Norton) from The Honeymooners]
Television (background) "Well, I can see you're trimming up the old tree in there, Ralphie-boy. –Yeah, it's going to be a beauty." [Art Carney (Ed Norton) | Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden) from The Honeymooners]
2005-12-15 Movie (background) "If there hadn't been children present, it would've been a very ugly scene indeed. Know what I mean?" [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Television "I need to get these letters to the North Pole by tonight. –Yeah. Right." [Jeff Bennett (Johnny Bravo) | Dee Bradley Baker (Roy) from Johnny Bravo]
Movie "Now look, Hallie, you can ask for toys, parakeets, haircare products, I don't care. But you may not ask for anything to do with interpersonal relationships! Got it? This is Santa Claus not Dear Abby." [Ethan Embry (Ethan O'Fallon) from All I Want For Christmas]
2005-12-14 Movie "No, there's only one person authorized to operate this sack. His big, red, oneness: The Claus." [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Television (background) "What do you want for Christmas, little girl?" [Gilbert Gottfried (Santa Claus) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television "I thought you and Hawkins were going to stay home and celebrate Humbug." [Dick York (Darrin Stephens) from Bewitched]
2005-12-13 Television "Why am I doing this? –Because I want to force some good cheer through your clogged arteries and into your cranky heart. –Yeah, it's like Christmas Drano." [Kurtwood Smith (Reginald 'Red' Forman) | Debra Jo Rupp (Kitty Forman) | Danny Masterson (Steven Hyde) from That '70s Show]
Television "Mandy! I'm getting presents in the New World Order! Mrs. Claus said so!" [Richard Steven Horvitz (Billy) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television (background) "This is hopeless. We're just going to have to face that the commercialism has been sucked out of Christmas." [Trey Parker (Stan Marsh) from South Park]
2005-12-12 Television "How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground? –I blame the economy." [Greg Eagles (Grim) | Richard Steven Horvitz (Billy) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television "And what do you want Santa to bring you, Cassie? –A cool pair of wings so I can fly! –Yes. And Santa wants another $1.50 an hour, but apparently he's not getting that either!" [Armin Shimerman (Santa Skarr) | Amber Hood (Cassie) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television (background) "Santa! Santa! Santa! Santa!" [Richard Steven Horvitz (Billy) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
2005-12-09 Television (background) "Santa. What a big red scam." [Grey Delisle (Mandy) from Grim & Evil (aka The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)]
Television "You know what? It's OK. If Bill O'Reilly needs to have an enemy, needs to feel persecuted, you know what? Here's my Kwanzaa gift to him… Are you ready? All right… I'm your enemy. Make me your enemy. I, Jon Stewart, hate Christmas, Christians, Jews, morality! And I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's Homobortion Pot-n-Commie Jizzporium." [Jon Stewart (Himself) from Daily Show, The]
Television "But apparently we liberal, secular fags here at Comedy Central have fired a devastating year-old 6-second long joke, that doesn't barely even make any sense to us any more, across the bow of Christianity. When you think of Liberals, your thoughts naturally turn to others who're fighting against Christmas, like the Puritans: the first white Americans who banned Christmas celebrations for 22 years in Boston because they deemed all of them unseemly." [Jon Stewart (Himself) from Daily Show, The]
2005-12-08 Television "Merry Christmas. –For me? Gosh. –It's fruitcake. –Oh. Thanks. Merry Christmas." [Donna Reed (Donna Stone) | uncredited (Jimmy the paperboy) from Donna Reed Show, The]
Television (background) "I'm gonna spend the holidays in the Emergency Room." [Jim Cummings (Peter Pete, Sr.) from Goof Troop]
Television "Honey, you wouldn't believe the stores are so crowded. I stood in line in one store for 10 minutes just to get out." [Bob Newhart (Dr. Robert Hartley) from Bob Newhart Show, The]
2005-12-07 Television "We got so caught up in the little things of Christmas, like Love and Family, that we almost forgot it's buying things that makes our economy thrive." [Trey Parker (Miss Diane Choksondik) from South Park]
Television "Oh, and boys? Happy Chanukah. –Happy Chanukah, Ma." [Mona Marshall (Sheila Broflovski) | Matt Stone (Kyle Broflovski) from South Park]
Television (background) "And in other news tonight, it appears that everyone is officially sick of Christmas!" [Trey Parker (Tom the News Reporter) from South Park]
2005-12-06 Movie "Ahh, smell those Christmas trees. You can keep your 'Channel' Number 5, just give me a whiff of the old lonesome pine. That symbol of brotherly love, that centerpiece that all mankind gathers around to share the cranberry sauce shaped like a can." [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Movie "There's no such thing! Think about it: a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond to the laws of time and travel. –Now, now, now, now, now, it's possible. You take the International Date Line, multiply it by the Time Zones, divided by the accelerated rotation of the earth... uh, carry the 1, and, uh, allowing for the Vernal Equinox on the Tropic of Cancer, he might just pull it off." [Noelle Parker (Harmony Star, aka 'Pamela Trenton') | Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Movie (background) "What we've got here is a failure to accumulate." [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
2005-12-05 Television "Grandma, you've got to admit it… There's nothing like the tree to get you into that Christmas spirit. –Yeah, sure, nothing gives me more comfort and joy than cleaning up pine needles for two weeks." [Allan Kayser (Bubba Higgins) | Vicki Lawrence (Mrs. Thelma 'Mama' Crowley Harper) from Mama's Family]
Television "Sweetheart, everyone is entitled to believe in what they want. Now if-if they don't want to believe, that's all right, too." [Elizabeth Montgomery (Samantha Stephens) from Bewitched]
Radio (background) "Hi, this is Michael Bolton wishing you Happy Holidays." [Michael Bolton from IDs, Christmas]
2005-12-02 Movie "(grunting) I know what we need, Vern… bolt cutters!" [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Movie (background) "I am at one with the Yuletide, know what I mean?" [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
Movie "You know, I don't tell many people this, but Christmas is just about my favorite time. Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt like it was my own personal holiday." [Jim Varney (Ernest P. Worrell) from Ernest Saves Christmas]
2005-12-01 Television "Oh, crap, I forgot Chanukah! Ooh! Chanukah's on the 7th. How could I forget the holiday that starts on a different day every year and commemorates a lamp not going out?" [Samantha Bee (Herself) from Daily Show, The]
Television "But really let's face it, all other days bow down to the 25th: Christmas. It's the only religious holiday that's also a Federal holiday. That way Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of Separation of Church and State." [Samantha Bee (Herself) from Daily Show, The]
Movie (background) "Oh, well, that's a, uh, pretty tall order. You know, I usually specialize in stuff you can wrap." [Leslie Nielson (Santa Claus) from All I Want For Christmas]