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December 31 - "The system's failed us. –The system sucks. We're going to have to go outside the system." - [Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane (Tracy Grandstaff and Wendy Hoopes) from Daria] |
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December 30 - "Well, your troubles are over. Magoo is taking over." - [Mr. Magoo (Jim Backus) from Mister Magoo] |
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December 29 - "Oh, isn't there someone else you can annoy? Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?" - [Manfred (Ray Romano) from Ice Age] |
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December 26~28 - "Together, my lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-Earth." - [Christopher Lee from The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers] |
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December 25 - "A word to the wise -- to all the children of the 20th century: whether their concern be pediatrics or geriatrics, whether they crawl on hands and knees and wear diapers, or walk with a cane and comb their beards. There's a wonderous magic to Christmas and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek." - [Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone]
and "We're wasting a perfectly good piece of mistletoe. –Oh, yeah. Well, Merry Christmas. –Merry Christmas, darling." – [Eva Gabor and Eddie Albert from Green Acres] |
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December 24 - "Mr. Mortimer, I'm sorry, but this is Christmas Eve and my wife is expecting me home early." - [Dick York from Bewitched]
and "I brought in your present. Wanna open it now? –No, I'll wait. –I always open a couple the day before. –Why? –Well, it puts you in the spirit ahead of time." – [Ben Alexander and Jack Webb from Dragnet] |
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December 23 - "Either that's Grandmama or Santa Claus is a woman. –Either that or Grandmama's a man." - [Lisa Loring and Ken Weatherwax from The Addams Family]
and "Dear, Santa Claus. How have you been? How is your wife? I am not sure what I want for Christmas this year. Sometimes it is very hard to decide. Perhaps you should send me your catalog." – [Linus Van Pelt (Corey Padnos) from Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales] |
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December 22 - "Well, how about this year instead of Santa we have fun celebrating Hanukkah? –No Santa? Was I bad?" - [David Schwimmer and Cole Mitchell Sprouse from Friends]
and "Did you ever stop to think that maybe if you eased up on your people a little, let them celebrate Solstice, perhaps, the times might ease up, too?" – [Lucy Lawless from Xena: Warrior Princess] |
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December 19~21 - "And I must give thanks to the good Lord above for giving us such a beautiful Christmas gift: a loving family and warm friends." - [Esther Rolle from Good Times]
and "I'm sorry I'm not my usual ho-ho self this year, but it's been a very hard winter. One thing after another with the elves." – [Don Beddoe from Bewitched] |
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December 18 - "There's a riot, the two of us hiding our Christmas gifts like we're a couple of kids when we couldn't wait to see 'em till tomorrow. (chuckles) What're you getting me?" - [Jackie Gleason from The Honeymooners]
and "Now, Chief, in all fairness to the employees, you do not display much holiday spirit. –What do they want from me? I gave them half a day off on Christmas!" – [Nancy Kulp and Raymond Bailey from The Beverly Hillbillies] |
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December 17 - "Santy Claus don't drink. –Oh no? Well how come he's always falling down chimleys?" - [Bob Hope and William Frawley from The Lemon Drop Kid]
and "But these letters! If Santa doesn't get these letters by tonight, I might not get all those free presents I asked for! And who ever heard of a Christmas without free stuff?" – [Johhny Bravo (Jeff Bennett) from Johnny Bravo] |
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December 16 - "This year I'm going to make all my Christmas presents. And guess what I'm getting everybody… paper airplanes!" - [Sally Brown (Megan Taylor Harvey) from Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales]
and "Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams." – [Lisa Loring from The Addams Family] |
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December 15 - "Ladies and gentlemen, a very happy and a Merry Christmas to you. To make it really happy and merry, make sure you drive safely and carefully. There's nothing merry about a crash." - [Jackie Mason from a selection of Radio IDs, Christmas]
and "I don't have a gift for you. –Gabrielle, you are a gift to me." – [Renée O'Connor and Lucy Lawless from Xena: Warrior Princess] |
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December 12~14 - "Gentlemen, I'm surprised at you. The American farmer didn't get where he is today by celebrating Christmas with phony trees and wax popcorn, plastic candy canes. Gentlemen, to the American farmer Christmas is real. He goes out with ax in hand, chops down his own tree, brings it back, garlands it with strings of popcorn from his own corn crib, makes cider from his own apple trees. And when Christmas carols ring out in the still of the night, he looks up to the sky and says, 'I'm proud to be an American farmer on Christmas.'" - [Eddie Albert from Green Acres]
and "You can't go home, man. This pageant's your chance to spread some Christmas spirit. And that's contagious like VD." – [Tommy Chong from That 70's Show] |
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December 11 - "Look, Ralph, will you hurry up and finish trimming the tree? People might start dropping in later." - [Audrey Meadows from The Honeymooners]
and "Christmas cards, huh? A little late, aren't you? –Well, I was going to send them out Monday, but we had that stakeout." – [Ben Alexander and Jack Webb from Dragnet] |
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December 10 - "Dear Santa, I have been ever so good this year. I would like a new mallet and a shiny brass anvil." - [Wakko (Jess Harnell) from Animaniacs]
and "I bet he tells little kids that Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, is an alcoholic." – [Jimmy Walker from Good Times] |
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December 9 - "Thank you for ruining our favorite, most-expensive holiday of the year. I have just two words for you: Get Out! (door slams)" - [Oscar Proud (Tommy Davidson) from The Proud Family]
and "Uncle Fester, do you believe in Santa Claus? –Well, of course. You kids are talking like children." – [Lisa Loring and Jackie Coogan from The Addams Family] |
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December 8 - "I need to figure out a way to get these letters to him before he takes off on his sleigh tonight! –Have you thought about emailing him over the internet?" - [Johnny Bravo and Suzy (Jeff Bennett and Mae Whitman) from Johnny Bravo]
and "I understand his loss, but that's no excuse for banning Winter Solstice." – [Lucy Lawless from Xena: Warrior Princess] |
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December 5~7 - "You know, Alex, just because you're an old Scrooge, why do the rest of us have to suffer? –Because we're family, Jennifer. We do things together." - [Tina Yothers and Michael J. Fox from Family Ties]
and "Compared to you, Scrooge was a holiday playboy!" – [Art Carney from The Honeymooners] |
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December 4 - "This is Mr. Henry Corwin, normally unemployed, who once a year takes the lead role in a uniquely popular American institution, that of a department store Santa Claus, in a road-company version of The Night Before Christmas. But in just a moment, Mr. Henry Corwin, ersatz Santa Claus, will enter a strange kind of North Pole, which is one part the wonderous spirit of Christmas and one part the magic that can only be found in the Twilight Zone." - [Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone]
and "Well, you lead an interesting life when I'm not around. Have you been drinking some out-of-season nog, perhaps?" – [Jane Lane (Wendy Hoopes) from Daria] |
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December 3 - "Mrs. Douglas came over here this afternoon and wanted to know how to make a fruitcake. And it's been so long since I made one, I had to look up the recipe. –Is she gonna make a fruitcake for Mr. Douglas? –She sure is. –Doris, that could make you an accessory to manslaughter." - [Barbara Pepper and Hank Patterson from Green Acres]
and "I was, uh, just decorating my Christmas tree and I was wondering, is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?" – [Bill Daily from The Bob Newhart Show] |
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December 2 - "I'm appalled. I mean, the thought of a Christmas bonus never entered my mind. –Oh, I'm glad, honey, 'cause it never entered our minds, either." - [Johnny Brown and Ja'net DuBois from Good Times]
and "What in the name of the Alamo is wrong with you, SpongeBob? Ain't ya never seen a Christmas tree before?" – [Sandy Cheeks (Carolyn Lawrence) from SpongeBob SquarePants] |
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December 1 - "Honey, Christmas should be warm and friendly and peaceful. –I agree with you, darling. And if you want mine to be peaceful, don't forget Miss Clark's present." - [Donna Reed and Carl Betz from The Donna Reed Show]
and "Well, Merry Frelling Christmas." – [Claudia Black from Farscape] |
