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December 31- "You shall not pass!" - [Ian McKellen from Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring] |
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December 30 - "It's pig discrimination, I tell you!" - [Hampton Pig (Don Messick) from Tiny Toon Adventures] |
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December 27~29 - "What do you think you're doing? –We're here to celebrate Kwanzaa. –I thought we did that yesterday! –Oh, everybody knows Kwanzaa's seven days. –Seven days? I don't do anything for seven days. –'Cept go without bathing." - [Oscar Proud, Joseph, Bobby Proud, and Suga Mama (Tommy Davidson, unknown, Cedric the Entertainer, and Jo Marie Payton-Noble) from The Proud Family] |
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December 26 - "Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, the Spirit had ended; it had all been doused. The ornaments were yanked from the tree with despair, while dad vacuumed pine needles from his rump." - [Michael C. Maronna from The Adventures Of Pete & Pete] |
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December 25 - "And didn't I bring you coffee up to bed like I do every Christmas morning? –Yeah, Archie. –All right. That shows you I ain't down. You got to be up to remember to do a thing like that once a year." - [Carroll O'Connor and Jean Stapleton from All In The Family]
and "Alex, was Christmas always like this? –Darling, Christmas hasn't changed… maybe wrapped up in too many ribbons, but it's still Christmas." - [Donna Reed and Carl Betz from The Donna Reed Show] |
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December 24 - "Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow, millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper will utter those heartfelt words, "Is this all I got?" - [Kelsey Grammer from Cheers]
and "Uh, just be good today, Fred. Remember, Santa comes tonight, and he knows who's been naughty and who's been nice!" - [Barney Rubble (Mel Blanc) from A Flintstones Christmas] |
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December 23 - "Hey, Santa, it's me, Johnny. Remember I'm the one that beat you up last year 'cause I thought you were a burgler?" - [Johnny Bravo (Jeff Bennett) from Johnny Bravo]
and "My wish is that the people of Bikini Bottom will stop paying any attention to the inane drivel that is constantly streaming out of this dunderhead's mouth! –Gee, SquidWard, maybe Santa will bring me a dictionary so I can understand what you just said." - [SquidWard and SpongeBob SquarePants (Rodger Bumpass and Tom Kenny) from SpongeBob SquarePants] |
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December 21~22 - "Oh, no! These are mine and mama's letters to Santa Claus! I thought I mailed these off last month." - [Johnny Bravo (Jeff Bennett) from Johnny Bravo]
and "I really hate to have to say this, but it is the thought that counts. –Yeah, and these are the result of a really cheap, crappy thought." - [Dave Foley and Andy Dick from NewsRadio]
and "Oh, my. What a nice plastic Christmas tree. –It's pine-scented. It works as an air-freshener, too." - [Joyce DeWitt and Audra Lindley from Three's Company]
and "That's the Christmas spirit, my little Smurfs!" - [Papa Smurf (Don Messick) from The Smurfs] |
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December 17~20 - My real job has me out for the rest of the week on a trip, so here's a bunch to tide you over till the weekend!
"My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master." - [Jean Shepherd from A Christmas Story]
and "All over the world they celebrate the birth of that baby, and everybody gets time off from work. Now if that ain't proof that he's the Son of God, then nothing is." - [Carroll O'Connor from All In The Family]
and "SpongeBob, how many times do I have to say it? I don't believe in Santa Claus!" - [SquidWard (Rodger Bumpass) from SpongeBob SquarePants]
and "You guys! You guys! Great news! Rudolph, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, The Little Drummer Boy - they're all on TV this week!" - [Ashton Kutcher from That 70's Show]
and "You know, this is a lot like the First Christmas. Except we did get a room, none of us are virgins, and instead of the baby Jesus we have a plate of cheeses." - [Eric McCormack from Will & Grace]
and "Honey, why don't you join Jackie and me in my suite at the Palace Hotel, huh? It's going to be a real old-fashioned Christmas. The stockings will be hung by the chimney with care and I'll be stinking drunk." - [Megan Mullally from Will & Grace] |
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December 16 - "We're taking time off between shots to do our Christmas wrapping. –Every time you put a Christmas Seal on a package, you're buying a present of good health for someone all through the year. –These Seals are coming to you right now in the mail. When you get them, send a check... and make it a generous one." - [Cary Grant and unknown from the set of The Bishop's Wife in a Hollywood Celebrity Plea]
and "Oh, Randy, don't play with your food. Eat it! –Aw, gee. –Starving people would be happy to have that." - [Melinda Dillon and Ian Petrella from A Christmas Story] |
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December 13~15 - "If you would only display a little generosity: a Christmas bonus, a few gifts! –I refuse to commercialize Christmas just to cowtow to my pampered employees." - [Nancy Kulp and Raymond Bailey from The Beverly Hillbillies]
and "Merry Christmas, Mr. Slate!" - [Fred Flintstone (Henry Corden) from A Flintstone Christmas]
and "Don't forget that report, Bill. –Yes, sir. Thank-Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukah." - [Brian Doyle-Murray and Chevy Chase from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation]
And as a Friday the 13th treat, go create your own Nightmare and send it to a friend with stuff from Sony Picture's new film Darkness Falls! |
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December 12 - "I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed." - [Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins) from A Charlie Brown Christmas]
and "Some Christmas present that'll be… a pink slip." - [Betty Rubble (B.J. Ward) from A Flintstone Christmas] |
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December 11 - "Yes, truly, a little bribe never hurts." - [Jean Shepherd from A Christmas Story]
and "Uh, 'frah-gee-lay.' It must be Italian! –Oh, I think that says 'fragile,' honey. –Oh, yeah." - [Darren McGavin and Melinda Dillon from A Christmas Story] |
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December 10 - "You know, you guys can hassle your skinny friend Eric, but when it comes down to a fundamental moral core he's the only one of you that's got one. So congratulations, you've ruined Christmas." - [Tommy Chong from That' 70's Show]
and "Greetings. I trust that Christmas brings you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramp. –And compliments of the season to you, Blackadder, May the Yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down." - [Rowan Atkinson and Stephen Fry from Blackadder] |
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December 9 - "Gee, look at me. I'm Santa's helper!" - [Barney Rubble (Mel Blanc) from A Flintstone Christmas]
and "I think you'll be a terrific Santa because you're loveable!" - [Wilma Flintstone (Jean Vander Pyl) from A Flintstone Christmas] |
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December 7~8 - "Miss Hathaway, are you responsible for the employees of this bank referring to me as Ebeneezer Scrooge? –No, why do you ask? –When I came through the lobby just now they all chanted in unison 'Here come da Scrooge! Here come da Scrooge!" - [Raymond Baily and Nancy Kulp from The Beverly Hillbillies]
and "Incidentally, I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that. –What is it that you want? –Real estate." - [Lucy Van Pelt and Charlie Brown (Tracy Stratford and Peter Robbins) from the Peanuts special: A Charlie Brown Christmas]
and "I've got presents?!" – [Daniel Radcliffe from Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone]
and "Hear ye, hear ye! The holdiday shopping season is just begun." – [Sean Hayes from Will & Grace] |
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December 6 - "Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem." - [Linus Van Pelt (Christopher Shea) from the Peanuts special: A Charlie Brown Christmas]
and "Get the biggest aluminum tree you can find, Charlie Brown, maybe painted pink!" - [Lucy Van Pelt (Tracy Stratford) from the Peanuts special: A Charlie Brown Christmas] |
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December 5 - "The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most-likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small." - [Boris Karloff from How The Grinch Stole Christmas]
and "Doris Day puts the finishing touches, Christmas Seals, on her holiday packages as she joins other Hollywood stars, like Dennis Morgan and his family, in setting a good example for all Christmas shoppers by buying gifts early, wrapping them carefully, and most important of all: mailing them today." - [Harry von Zell (?) from a Warner-Pathe newsreel] |
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December 4 - "I don't know. Either I'm off my nut or he is… or you are." - [Jimmy Stewart from It's A Wonderful Life]
and "Ponch, the rituals of Yuletide are not things to be tolerated. They're to be enjoyed in the doing." - [Paul Linke from CHiPS] |
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December 3 - "I sure miss a traditional St. Olaf Christmas. –Uh, excuse me, Rose, but do we have time to run out and get hit by a bus?" - [Betty White and Bea Arthur from The Golden Girls]
and "Do you think I'm way off-base here? –Yes! You're, well, you're a tad off-base, sir. That thing looked like The Manson Family Christmas Special." - [Bill Murray and Bobcat Goldthwait from Scrooged] |
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December 2 - "Hey, Griswald, where do you think you're going to put a tree that big? –Bend over and I'll show you. –You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswald! –I wasn't talking to you." - [Nicholas Guest and Chevy Chase from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation]
and "You don't want anybody to have a Happy Christmas. –Oh, you want happy? Drink another six-pack!" - [Don Stark and Kurtwood Smith from That 70's Show] |
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