And by the way, you know, when you-- when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

Please verbally state the nature of your injury.

You're a disgrace to this university... and your family name.

What's up her gigantic, giant ass?

The two of you did something together that no one has ever done before. You surprised me.

Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists, you are to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research.

What you lack is something that cannot be taught. You're not scary.

Boy, if I were President I'd put a stop to manners. That's what I'd do. I'd make a Proclamation.

You've made your bed. I just hope for your sake that you've cleaned the sheets. –Did I just get Saved?

(chuckles) We'd have more luck playing Pick-Up Sticks with our butt cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.