Hello, possums! I adore Christmas. And for me, Christmas is every day of the year, because it is a time of giving and I give myself something pretty expensive almost every day.

Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I've found. I've found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keeps the darkness at bay; simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I'm afraid, and he gives me courage.

That's a pretty cynical point-of-view. –Oh, come, come now, Miss Haynes. Surely you knew that everybody's got a little larceny operating in them, didn't you know that?

So why am I telling you this? Because I had just created demons... And I didn't even know it.

Can you feel that? We're done here. Move out of the way or I'm going to run you over.

How may I help you? –You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. And you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat! –I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. –And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now. –May I see your rental agreement? –I threw it away. –Tsk. Oh boy. –'Oh boy,' what? –You're fucked.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? I'm sorry to announce that we're cancelling Flight 909 due to severe weather in Chicago.

Where are we going? –Back of the ship. –Why? –Because the front crashes first. Think it through.

My diagnosis is that you've experienced a severe anxiety attack.